Black History Month
Sunday, February 10, 2008 Posted In Dae Dae , The Fam Edit This 4 Comments »
I'm white. So is HH. He is also black. Therefore, our kids are a mix of the both of us. However, to look at them, you would assume that they are just white.
When HH was growing up, he was not white enough for the white kids and not black enough for the black kids. To look at him now, a lot of people assume he is Mexican. He gets the question "What are you?" frequently. Which is just infuriating. Does his race matter? He is a human. Does it matter that he tans better than most? Unfortunately, to some it does.
I remember the first time I went shopping for HH's bi-racial niece. She wanted the Ken Doll from the Swan Lake Barbie Collection. No big deal. I just assumed I would get the white doll. I stood in front of the multitude of Ken dolls for what seemed an eternity trying to decide which race to get. I decided to get the black one. He was closest to her beloved uncle, my HH. That was the first time that I ever had to make such a decision. And it turned out to the be the first of many. When Daelyn got her first black doll, I was so happy. I told Jaime (HH's sister) Thank you. When Hunter (Jaime's daughter--HH's (white) niece--tots' cousin) asked why I was I was so glad, I told her that HH was black and therefore so was Daelyn and it was important to me for her to have a black doll. Hunter replied in astonishment "NO he's not". At first I was shocked. Wasn't it obvious that her uncle wasn't as pale as the rest of us? I later came to realize that he was just her beloved uncle. His race didn't matter, it wasn't a factor.
HH and I try to blend in a mix of cultures in our household. We search out books for non-white characters. We have multi-racial dolls. It's not always easy. We live in an almost all white town. Daelyn's fellow preschoolers are all white. We did luck out with their daycare. We intentionally searched out one that wasn't a sea of homogenous faces. Right now, there is a hispanic boy and a chinese girl. Thankfully, Stormy is married to a black man. Their son Kev is of the same background that HH is. My children have a link to their not always so obvious heritage. A link of their generation.
The reason for this lengthy, somewhat rambling, post is because it's black history month. Do I tell my children that they are part black? Do I hope they realize their heritage at some point in time? Do I hope that as they get older that race doesn't matter? I want them to embrace their heritage, their culture. But how exactly do I do that?
I would really appreciate some feedback. Please and Thank you.
When HH was growing up, he was not white enough for the white kids and not black enough for the black kids. To look at him now, a lot of people assume he is Mexican. He gets the question "What are you?" frequently. Which is just infuriating. Does his race matter? He is a human. Does it matter that he tans better than most? Unfortunately, to some it does.
I remember the first time I went shopping for HH's bi-racial niece. She wanted the Ken Doll from the Swan Lake Barbie Collection. No big deal. I just assumed I would get the white doll. I stood in front of the multitude of Ken dolls for what seemed an eternity trying to decide which race to get. I decided to get the black one. He was closest to her beloved uncle, my HH. That was the first time that I ever had to make such a decision. And it turned out to the be the first of many. When Daelyn got her first black doll, I was so happy. I told Jaime (HH's sister) Thank you. When Hunter (Jaime's daughter--HH's (white) niece--tots' cousin) asked why I was I was so glad, I told her that HH was black and therefore so was Daelyn and it was important to me for her to have a black doll. Hunter replied in astonishment "NO he's not". At first I was shocked. Wasn't it obvious that her uncle wasn't as pale as the rest of us? I later came to realize that he was just her beloved uncle. His race didn't matter, it wasn't a factor.
HH and I try to blend in a mix of cultures in our household. We search out books for non-white characters. We have multi-racial dolls. It's not always easy. We live in an almost all white town. Daelyn's fellow preschoolers are all white. We did luck out with their daycare. We intentionally searched out one that wasn't a sea of homogenous faces. Right now, there is a hispanic boy and a chinese girl. Thankfully, Stormy is married to a black man. Their son Kev is of the same background that HH is. My children have a link to their not always so obvious heritage. A link of their generation.
The reason for this lengthy, somewhat rambling, post is because it's black history month. Do I tell my children that they are part black? Do I hope they realize their heritage at some point in time? Do I hope that as they get older that race doesn't matter? I want them to embrace their heritage, their culture. But how exactly do I do that?
I would really appreciate some feedback. Please and Thank you.
4 comments:
I feel fortunate about our daycare, too. There have been times when my very white/blonde girls have been the minority among their predomintantly Asian classmates. One kid wanted to touch Samantha's hair because it was so "thin and light". Ha!
I'm sitting here thinking and I wish I had some sure-fire great advice. But I just don't have any personal experience with this. My hunch would be to of course tell your kids they're part black and how great that is. Our family is as white as they come, but our girls have black dolls as well as white ones. I do that to teach them love and empathy for all people, regardless of color and to them it's pretty normal.
Have you read Journey Mama's blog? She's a white woman married to a black man, and she seems like a very generous person. I'm sure if you asked for her advice, she'd be happy to talk to you.
Forgot the link to Journey Mama:
http://journeymama.com/
:)
I think you and Weldon do a great job bringing yours and his heritage into the upbringing of the kiddos. Have you looked on Cafe Mom for other mom's going through the samething? Sorry I'm not much help.
So it's been a while for me to actually get the chance to sit down and relax and catch up with the blogs! This one caught my eye... we go through the same thing at home. The strange thing is Kev doesn't see things in black and white. I really don't think he has a clue. All he knows is that he has a mommy and daddy, grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins who love him so much. This reminds me of the conversation that he had with Karrinna when I babysat for Kevin's friends baby who happened to be black. Karrinna commented that the baby was the same color as them... Kev didn't see it- really, he had no idea that the baby was even different or the same... guess it's how you look at it. Do you remember one of the first times Ashley met Kevin? She asked him why his hands were brown... not the face, arms, neck or any other part of the body, just the hands. I don't think Ashley (for those you who don't know, she is my niece) sees Kevin or Kev any different. I guess one thing that came out of this was allowing people who don't typically see the other side of things, see the other side of things. I don't think our family really look at blacks/ whites or any other race any differently right now. Look what we've taught them! Aren't you proud!?!
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